You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
