38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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