At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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