How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
