Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
