My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
