Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
