I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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