they need to just BURY HIM!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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