We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
