you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
