Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
