I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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