Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
