Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
