The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
