Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
