office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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