forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
