sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
