I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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