i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
