hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
