She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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