You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
