I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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