the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm going to jail i love you
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
