Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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