we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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