the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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