You really coming over, don't trick.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
