Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
