can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
