I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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