1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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