Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
