If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
