I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
