She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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