U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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