you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Tornado booty call.. dedication
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
