We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
