dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just had sex on a roof
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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