I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
