why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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