why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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