That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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