Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
