I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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