i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
