You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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