wakey wakey hands off snakey
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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