Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
