I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
